Saturday, 15 May 2010

Hello again!

Just thought I'd drop in with a surprise update. Yep, I still remember this blog! Even after all these months of separation, myself and blogging remain as firm a couple as, well, myself and laziness. The latter pairing being the reason for the colossal temporal disparity between the then and now; the there and here; the last delivered update from myself, and this current literary phlegm. Essentially. So, to bring to a close this travesty of prefacing text, I'd best draw from my dunce cap some form of excuse for the atrocity of negligence committed over the past few months. Basically, I was busy. Exams, coursework, the traditional crud. That and I suffered from the sheer abject laziness to which I am so oft prone.

But that isn't to say that I have done nothing in the way of ExeSoft-ery. No, not so! I have various things which still await posting, which with any luck will find their way onto this very blog over the next few posts (which will presumably come with fewer gargantuan time gaps of the nature we have just witnessed). Unfortunately I can't at present divulge the secrets of these mysterious projects, as I actually can't remember which ones I've already posted about. It's been a while. But as mentioned, I intend to sort this out fairly soon and get some posts up here. For now I'll just be updating you on things you don't care about, in a writing style which has most evidently degraded over the last few months (during which the closest to prose my writing got was formulaic English essays and the odd explanation paragraph in physics exams).

So, what do my near-nonexistent audience care the least about? Aah yes, my banal excuses. Exams! Doesn't everyone love them? Well, I'm sitting them at the moment. (It may well be that my reason for posting here was simply that my mouse-operating hand was bored of drifting over to Tetris during revision sessions, and thought it would spice things up with a bit of bloggery.) And I'm pleased to say that having sat the English exam on Wednesday, I am now free from studying English... forever. Yes, that's right. Nevermore need I ponder the elaborate subtexts present in such poetic masterpieces as Carol Ann Duffy's '$':
A one a two a one two three four - boogie woogie chou chou cha cha chatta noogie. Woogie wop a loo bop a wop bim bam. Da doo ron a doo ron oo wop a sha na? Na na hey hey doo wah did. Um, didy ay didy shala lala lala lala, boogie woogie choo choo cha cha bop. (A woogie wop a loo bam) yeah yeah yeah.

(I shit thee not, this is genuinely one of her poems. I imagine the only 'meaning' present here is in the title - basically, "I can write whatever bollockery I like and the cash will continue to roll in.") Indeed, I need never actually write
anything properly again. I am now free to allow my literary mind to decay, to the stage where I find difficulty even to write code coherently.

But alas, this cannot be! As the greatly revered Animatinator, I feel it is my duty to maintain my magnificent writing capabilities, and to continue this glorious and majestic blog indefinitely, so that you, my adoring fans, can continue to bask in this... this paragon of literary achievement, this grand summit of intellectual mastery, and so that we, as a species, can take heed of the great words set down herein and move forwards unto a new era, a new paradigm, an entirely new... means of existence, in which...
Sorry, I tried incredibly hard, but I couldn't get any further with that without descending into fits of hilarity. See? I'm already losing my writing abilities. I can't even impersonate Carol Ann Duffy any more. But nonetheless, I will continue to post to this blog, despite there being no reason whatsoever to maintain my capacity for language. Because that's how nice I am.

So, where was I? Ah yes, boring you with tales of exams. English went well! Surprisingly, we had an incredibly good question on the Pinter texts (the main thing our class was studying) so I didn't have to resort to prescribing contrived meaning to the semi-literate blabberings of good old Duffy (our back-up). And the resulting essay seemed at least reasonably acceptable. So, given that the dissertation went well and the two creative pieces should average an A, I'm still hopeful for an overall A (and consequently a met Cambridge offer). All the other exams are still to come though, so there's still scope for abject failure. I'll endeavour to keep you posted.

And with that, I shrink back into my pit of silence. Goodbye for now! Perchance we shall meet again over the next few days...

No comments:

Post a Comment