Sunday, 29 November 2009

Oh noes!!

*annoying popping sound*

The program 'McAfee updater' is trying to access the Internet!!! OMGWTFLOL!!


*annoying popping sound*

McAfee is out of date! Oh noezzz what shall we do?!?!?

I shit thee not. Well, perhaps it wasn't worded quite like that, but that's how I choose to read it. Yes, McAfee SecurityCenter (bloody American spellings) has finally caught up and realised that the most potent threat to my computer is, in fact, McAfee SecurityCenter. And not just because it's designed by people with dodgy spelling skills and space-bar-aversion; no, apparently it's trying to access the Internet. Not only that, but it's antiquated as well! (And for some reason it's of the view that downloading the latest version would solve this.)

Usually, when it starts complaining about updates, the resolution is a simple case of clicking 'install updates.' However, since the latest SuperAwesome McAwesomeUpdate (NowWithEvenFewerSpaces), its very components are at odds with one another all of a sudden, and such an endeavour is obstructed by anti-virus anti-productivity red tape. So what happened? Well, allow me to retell a tale whose horrors shall play upon your very bones like some form of poorly-tuned percussion instrument. Yes, I know that didn't make any sence.

Upon restarting (which I was compelled
to do by a big impertinent pop-up which repeated its demand like a child seeking sugar), I was immediately affronted by a torrent of McWhineBoxes. Every single one was from good ol' McAfee, asking for yet another of its components to be allowed access to the Internet. I honestly wasn't aware that it comprised so many discrete processes, but there we go. I suppose it serves as an example of the lengths programmers will go to outrequire the latest hardware.

Now, at least that can be easily dispelled through an hour or so of mindless allowing (during which period I may unintentionally have allowed
Internet access to thousands of malwarez without noticing). However, another more pressing issue remains: McAfee SuperFireWallPlus isn't intalled!!! Or, at least, the middle-right portion of the SecurityCenter window believes that. The bottom-left portion knows it's there, but is keeping that to itself. Why? It's simple; the two portions have fallen out:

Now, one question remains. What did this new and glorious update actually add, to counterbalance the inconvenience of having to exhaustively allow every single one of McAfee's myriad sub-processes, and at the expense of the program's capability of determining its own integrity?

A new splash screen.

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